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Q: 2023/24 Hopes & aspirations for this season
a. As Champions of Europe there's no reason we shouldn't be pushing for a top 7 spot & a run in the Cups
24%
  
b. Last season was a trophy winning one and there's only one way to go after that, I expect a dull mid table bore fest of a season
17%
  
c. Buy some f***ing players or we're in a battle to stay up & that's as good as it gets
18%
  
d. Moyes out
37%
  
e. New season you say, woohoo time to get the new kit and wear it it to the pub for all the big games, the wags down there call me Mr West Ham
3%
  



Joe C 11:45 Sun Dec 3
Been burgled
Got home from a weekend away to find we’ve been burgled. Cunts jimmied open our kitchen window.

So far we’ve found they’ve had all my wife’s jewelry away, including stuff that was left to her by her Nan and her great aunt that are irreplaceable, as well as some her parents had made for our wedding day. She’s devestated and seeing her like this is killing me.

I’m not a violent man, but god help whoever did this if I ever get hold of them. Fucking parasitic cunts

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

Lily Hammer 2:48 Thu Dec 7
Re: Been burgled
BP

I would guess that was just trial runs to see how it goes. Something similar was done in Brent and a few other areas. Definitely worth checking out though, in case they still have the offer open.

Britannia Pub 1:29 Thu Dec 7
Re: Been burgled
Trev’s Header,

I think that the police were visiting houses in Dagenham and issuing residents with Smart Water for free last year. Maybe it is available from your local police station?

michael 1:23 Thu Dec 7
Re: Been burgled
Got an alarm fitted last year by Union Security there in Chingford
Seems to do the job.

Lily Hammer 11:37 Thu Dec 7
Re: Been burgled
Trevs Header 2:22 Thu Dec 7

That's the stuff. My mum's having an alarm and a couple of cameras fitted next week. I wonder how much this stuff costs. I suppose ut's mainly businesses that pay up for it. I can quite see why jewellers would consider it worth it, for instance.

Crassus 11:03 Thu Dec 7
Re: Been burgled
Joe

Good man, shame we can't fit retractable mines beneath the patio, on mini scaffolding even

On a serious note best wishes to you and your wife, horrid business

Joe C 10:45 Thu Dec 7
Re: Been burgled
Crassus 10:00 Wed Dec 6

I'm all over it. House is being Fort Knox'd to fuck.

Police figured out how they got into the garden and that's being done as well - razor wire being installed on Saturday, so they won't be getting through there again

Trevs Header 2:22 Thu Dec 7
Re: Been burgled
lillyhammer
the water with area specific DNA is called smartwater costs a fortune but i know that a lot of Jewellers have it as part of their alarms.

Nurse Ratched 11:18 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
Shh!

gph 11:15 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
Too late, Nurse - you said something nice about a dog, thus revealing yourself to an impostor.

What have you done with the real NR?

Nurse Ratched 10:52 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
Crassus- Arf!

Crassus 10:49 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
Nurse
Dogs? That's what sons are for

Nurse Ratched 10:44 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
Does it also chew your slippers and piss on your carpet?

bruuuno 10:41 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
Off the back of this thread I have gone and and bought one of these things:

https://www.clifford-james.co.uk/buy.cfm/security/barking-dog-alarm/68/yes/57295

Makes a sound like a dog barking and can detect people approaching the back door (ooer)

I'm gonna couple it with a simple security light outside the back door. I would hope that being dazzled by a halogen light along with the sound of a barking dog would cause any burglar to turn on their tails

Nurse Ratched 10:30 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
"I am out"


Congratulations!

How have your parents taken it? Like all of us, I bet they always had their suspicions.

icwhs 10:19 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
Nurse

You need a full noshing

I am out

Crassus 10:04 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
Nurse
Sorry to hear, our posts crossed
Dogs, even the most 'pack' placid will not accept intrusion easily

Crassus 10:00 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
Joe

Mate this is not easy to say but I will, with the best of reason, hopefully it was some crack head who will be rotting sharp order, but the facts are, that what ever the local probablity of being burgled, if burgled once, the stastics of a secondary within six months are exponentially higer - the cunts know the insurance will have paid out and the goods replaced plus tthey know the layout

The form is to change something, make yourselves too much grief, make someone else a line of less resistance

Hounds are the way, we live in a rural area on private drive off a cul de sac, my lad, on his jack, had taken a shower and in his room when our muts went wild, fucking dogs were unnaturally snarling and pounding the front door. Lad looked out of the window and a swarthy type was on his toes down the drive. Poor cunt might have been dropping off a charity bag but whatever, he was not having it

Nurse Ratched 9:34 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
I was burgled years ago despite having a dog. My husband had a long haired German shepherd bitch. Beautiful, gentle girl. He would lock her in the kitchen when we went out because he was an OCD freak who became traumatised over clumps of her hair on the carpet or sofa. I don't think I ever saw that twit inside the house without a hoover or a can of Mr Sheen in his fist.

We went out to meet a friend of his at the pub. The night out was his friend's particular suggestion (I bet you're way ahead of me...). The 'friend' turned up, but rather late. We arrived home to find the place ransacked. My husband's dog was still in the kitchen where he had locked her.

Worst aspect was that for days afterwards, she was wandering all over the house, upstairs and downstairs, nose down, sniffing, following the scent of him/them as they had been going into all our rooms. That was hard to watch.

Queens Fish Bar 9:03 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
*alerted*

Queens Fish Bar 9:03 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
I have set up 3 booby traps in the house that are set when its empty.

I am part way through the automating my house. This includes access and security - work in progress.

In the future (early next year) I will be able to control my intruder stopper devices from my phone, having been altered someone is the house and I am watching them.

michael 6:43 Wed Dec 6
Re: Been burgled
Sorry to hear Joe
Barstards

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